Forbidden Lines

A short list of lines I'm no longer allowed to use whilst playing an RPG.

1.  "Yeah, yeah, we get it, you're evil, you have a plan, yadda yadda.  Can we skip the monologue part and get to the 'poking you with pointy things' part?"

2.  "You're a tenth level fighter, and a pacifist?  Literally the only thing that you can do is hit people with pieces of metal particularly well, and somehow you even managed to screw that up."

3.  "Oh, I'm aware that, as a wizard, full-plate armor gives me massive penalties.  I'm also aware that most wizards don't survive past fifth level, so you can take your list of ideal equipment and shove it up your rectum."

4.  "Yes, I'm a bard.  No, I don't play the lute, I play the electric guitar.  What?  They don't?  Well, fine, I play the artificer's guitar."

5.  "I don't have to outrun the dire bear.  I just have to outrun you."

6.  "Weren't you paying attention?  I don't care if we can 'probably' take the bear down, all I have to do is outrun you."

7.  "Okay, now that we've killed the bad guy, I start eating him.  What?  I'm a catfolk, and he's covered in flesh.  It makes perfect sense."

8.  "Listen, Your Highness, I'm not saying that burning down the orphanage was just.  I'm not saying it was right.  I'm not even saying that we have a good excuse.  All I am saying is that we're level twelve, and you're packing guards who are maybe level seven."

9.  "So the villain's in there?  That building right there?  The one made of wood?  Someone pass me a tinderbox."

10.  "You're just being prejudiced against my catfolk paladin because you don't want me to eat people.  WHY WON'T YOU RESPECT MY CULTURE?!"

Great Gaming Music, Part Two

Once again, we dive into the realm of some of my personal favorite music to game by.  This time, though, before we start, I'd like to pimp out Ominous Sounds, a great blog that does a far better job of showing off wonderful gaming tracks than I could hope to do here.

With that out of the way, let's begin!

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords Theme
 While I really like this track, it can be a little hard to pinpoint a place for in gameplay.  Personally, I tend to use it towards the beginning of a game, usually during exposition with a major character.  It also works pretty well when the GM is describing an important place, such as a new city or a mysterious keep.  The song has a slight ominous tinge to it, but it isn't too overbearing.

Castlevania Lords of Shadow Main Theme
Quite the epic track, in my humble opinion.  I like this song for epic journeys, maybe accompanies by a 'verbal montage' explaining what the characters face on the months they've spent traveling (assuming it's a situation in which you're not actively roleplaying those months).  Players feel like they're doing something important, and are really making a difference in the world, when you play this track.

Final Fantasy XII Main Theme
Yet another main theme...perhaps I'm lacking originality?  Nevertheless, this track works very nicely at the starting of an adventure or campaign, during the short bit of time it takes to fill the players in on where their characters are and how they got there.  Players feel like they're at the beginning of something big when they hear this track.

Esper Battle Theme
Also hailing from the Final Fantasy XII soundtrack, this song is great for boss fights, especially those of the climactic end-of-dungeon variety.  It's just somber enough to let the players know that they might be in a bit of a bad situation, and, if your final bosses are anything like mine, they are.

There you go, another four tracks certain to perk up gaming sessions!  Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see ya next time :)