It was time. Thomas glanced down,
checking one last time that his shoes were laced and securely tied.
They were, and he breathed a slight sigh of relief, knowing how
difficult it would be to tie them now. He inhaled, filling his lungs
with a deep breath, and exhaled, watching the mist of his breath
float serenely past the shelter of the overhang covering the front
porch into the field of water pouring from the sky.
It was time.
Very suddenly, Thomas stepped past the
dryness of the porch and broke into a steady jog, quickly crossing
the entirety of the front lawn before stepping from the gutter to the
rain-slicked street, his feet splashing up streams of water behind
him. The run was oddly satisfying, somehow rewarding in it's own
sake, and he increased his speed, jogging quickly past mailboxes and
parked cars, his only company on the dreary gray day.
For every action, there is an equal and
opposite reaction. For every fairy-tale ending that one person
receives, another must endure tragedy. Very rarely had Thomas dared
dream for the fairy-tale ending for himself, and thus, he was rarely
disappointed. But tragedy...he had grown quite used to the presence
of that haunting specter in his life. He had carried his fair share,
and perhaps much more. Perhaps more than any man could bear.
So, he ran.
He rounded the corner, leaving the
neighborhood, and continued his journey down the abandoned street.
He passed a convenience store, it's bright lights promising a safe
refuge from the gloomy weather, but he didn't stop. He continued
jogging, his pace slowing a bit. He was already getting tired. He
could practically smell copper in the air, mixed with the aromas of
gasoline and rain.
Hope is a strange, fickle thing. You
can live without it your entire life, and, though you may be a sad,
pathetic thing for it, it's absence will not be terribly missed. But
once you have had it, once that strange, fickle thing has lit inside
your heart and filled your mind with empty promises, you'll find that
it's quite impossible to ever live again without it.
So...he ran.
There is no pain in the world like the
pain of the heartbroken. Many claim to have suffered such suffering,
but they speak in ignorance. They've suffered heartaches, small
fractures, but to have your heart truly broken, to
have it unwillingly ripped from your chest and shattered before your
very eyes, leaving not even a mote of dust left to try and fill the
void within you—this is a rare thing. This is a thing that no man
can ever truly recover from.
His arms began to hurt, but he blinked
back the stinging tears that threatened to revolt against his will
and picked up his pace, now sprinting down the street, as if he could
outrun memories, agonies, and perhaps his own humanity.
A misnomer, perhaps. Could something
bearing such unfathomable pain really be considered human? Could
something so lost, so devoid of any driving force, even the basic
evolutionary imperative to survive until the next day really be
grouped amongst the whole of humanity?
Perhaps
not.
And,
thus, Thomas ran.
A car
passed him, driving the opposite direction, causing a torrent of
water to rise up and strike Thomas, as if it was offended by the dark
stains growing on Thomas' clothing. He grit his teeth, expecting to
be rewarded with more pain as the water slammed against his aching
arms, but he realized that his hands were beginning to go numb, and
he received no extra torment.
It was
a hollow blessing. Physical pain is a fleeting, temporary thing.
But emotional pain, true emotional
pain, is an all-encompassing infection, an eternal curse, forever
twisting the mind and soul of it's bearer, promising a future devoid
of smiles, of laughs, of even the slightest shred of the possibility
of a brighter tomorrow. It is a dark, hollowing thing, forcing the
victim to turn his body into a gruesome puppet, able to fake cheeky
grins and lighthearted tones while every cell of his body is
screaming for release and relief.
Thomas's
step faltered, and he unwillingly slowed to a walk. He continued
this pace for a few seconds, before his fog-ridden mind realized what
he was doing. It was growing hard to think.
He
forced himself into a sprint, flying down the street, a crimson trail
streaming behind him. His step faltered once more, but he caught his
balance, once more regaining his frantic pace. He made it perhaps
another ten seconds before he stumbled yet again, this time falling
to the ground, unable to command his unresponsive hands to stretch
out before him and break his fall. He lay there, exhausted, as
finally some semblance
of rest began to overtake him.
He was
done running.
Great story again, reminded me of the song "I ran" by Flock of Seagulls for some reason?
ReplyDeleteI love this - "There is no pain in the world like the pain of the heartbroken. Many claim to have suffered such suffering, but they speak in ignorance."
ReplyDelete